THIS WEEK'S ADVICE
We answer the questions in the order in which they were received.
We provide orientation on different matters, mind, body and spirit, but we don't offer medical advice
If you are a victim of sexual, physical or emotional abuse, please visit:
Shelter for abused women
Life is precious. If you're depressed to the point that you've had suicidal ideation, please visit this website where you can find different resources to assist you:
Suicide hot line
I am looking for a dental cream that is called RENEW. Also, I am looking into therapies for zinc poisoning.
Smartpractice.com offers the Renew toothpaste, but it has to be bought with a license. Maybe you want to ask your dentist.
Regarding the ZInc poisoning, I would advice that you contact your physician first of all. Among the alternative treatments for chronic zinc poisoning is Edetate calcium disodium, a contracted name for a salt of ethylenediaminetetraacetate, an agent used as a chelator of lead and some other heavy metals. Please bear in mind that the research process for some alternative products follows different standards and protocols that sometimes render them unreliable. You may also consult a Poison Center near you for more information about diagnosis, misdiagnosis and treatments.
An abusive boyfriend
My boyfriend is extremely jealous. He wants to know everything about me, including where I am at all times. I have reduced my social life. I don't visit my family as often as I used to. He calls me at work, he doesn't approve of my friends and gets very angry when I do not agree with him on any subject. We've been together for two years and I truly love him. I haven't given him any reason to be jealous. What can I do to appease him, to improve this relationship? We quarrel all the time.
Please change the question. What pleasure do you find staying in a relationship where you cannot be yourself, where you're not appreciated? Love is not all it takes to make thinks work.
You need to do nothing to appease or please him. One should be loved for what one is. He seems to be a very controlling, abusive person. Abuse is almost entirely about control. It is an immature reaction to life circumstances. To the abuser, nothing exists outside himself. Meaningful others are mere extensions of himself, like an arm or a leg. He's is incapable of empathy or real love.
Look for these characteristics that define an abusive person:
* He is unpredictable
* His reactions are disproportionate
* He critizes mostly everything what you do or think
* He behaves as if he knows everything about you
* He engineers difficult situations in which he is sorely needed
* He uses others (your family, your close friends) to influence your decisions
* He fosters an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation.
With time, the person who lives in an abusive relationship loses self-esteem and starts to wonder what has she done wrong, what should she change... that is a dangerous sign that the abuser has you under control.
Please look for advice and support from a professional counselor. Shelters for abused women are full of resources to orient you and help you recover your old self.